Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad

Chapter 819: Chapter 819 : Doubts

*Cat*

My lies weighed heavily on my shoulders as we drove away, leaving Elio in the parking lot of the cathedral where we would get married in only two months. I felt like Atlas carrying the world, crushed under its weight as I gently brushed the hair of our sleeping child, images of guns being put to her little head flashing through my mind.

I shut my eyes, trying to will them away, but the fear was visceral like acid being poured down my throat.

I’d seen firsthand what could happen to those who were used to sending a message, and as much as I wanted to rely on Elio’s promise of protection, the thought that Junior could take and harm our baby girl hurt more than anything.

Olivia’s house, the one they used when they were in LA, was as large and well-managed as always and as we pulled up to the driveway, I saw one of the gardeners working on the flowers in the front, with a sunhat and bags of potting soil just thrown around.

I stepped out of the car and Emilia woke up, whining a bit as I lifted her up on my shoulder. Tony was kind enough to grab the bag, following me with a quick step as we headed up the driveway.

I’d already told Olivia I was coming, so I wasn’t surprised that their butler, John, met me at the door, already waiting with a patient smile. He was a kind gentleman and with a few words, he took over carrying Emilia’s bag from Tony, who settled patiently to wait outside for us.

I knew Gio and Olivia had their own guard system, one that probably rivaled ours. Despite being retired, Gio still had a lot of enemies who would come after him, I remembered Elio telling me. noveldrama

John led us through the immaculate house, and I paused to glance at the pictures of Gio, Olivia, and a tinier Elio on the wall, together and happy as a family. I tightened my hold on Emilia, guilty that I had lied to Elio’s face just to be here but knowing that this was what I needed to feel safe again... to make a decision.

“The madam is in the garden. Would you like a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade or any other kind of fruit juice?” John asked as he directed us to the back patio doors.

They were wide open, and I gave him a thankful look. “That would be wonderful, thank you. Um, some lemonade for me and could you grab just a glass of ice as well?” I asked, a little embarrassed.

But he didn’t ask or complain, just nodded as he headed off to the kitchen.

I took a deep breath, readying myself for what was sure to be a hard conversation, and then stepped out onto the patio. Olivia was humming, a sound that was easy to follow. It was a familiar tune that I’d heard Elio singing to Emilia sometimes when she couldn’t sleep at night.

Even Emilia seemed to recognize it, her little head jolting up as she searched around with her wide, curious eyes. She wiggled in my arms like she was ready to jump down and run toward the sound, but I kept a sound hold on her.

Following the voice, I saw Olivia on the gazebo by the pond. She had a soft, kind look to her as she sat on the comfortable outdoor lounging cushions under the shade. She had a bag of what looked like fish feed in her hand as she sprinkled it out into the pond.

“Oliv–” I paused, clearing my throat before I called out, “Mom,” like she had asked me to.

Her face lit up as she saw me and Emilia and she rushed out of her seat, immediately opening up her arms as she came over. I happily passed over Emilia, who clung to her grandmother with a bubbly grin, showing off all four of her baby teeth now.

“Oh my sweet grandbaby, you’re so adorable today. Yes, you are.” The baby voice was out, Olivia smiling brighter than ever as she doted on my daughter and I took a seat at the gazebo, sighing in relief as I came under the shade. It had gotten hotter since leaving the cathedral.

John came back carrying a pitcher of lemonade and glasses on a tray, including one filled with some bite-sized ice cubes. I gave him a grateful look, sparing the moment to search through Emilia’s bag.

Once I got her pacifier, this one not having any holes, I stuffed a few ice cubes in, allowing her to suck on it. She happily wiggled her feet as she sucked on the cold ice cubes, safe so she wouldn’t choke and able to bite down on the rubber instead of everyone else’s skin.

I had a few bite marks from her new phase that I was not proud to show off.

Olivia doted on Emilia for a few minutes, asking me about how things were going, and I was relieved that she didn’t demand any answers right away, letting me build myself up to it at my own pace.

Not everyone had her patience.

It took a bit of idle chatter, just talking about the wedding and how Emilia was growing, before I finished off my lemonade, pouring another as John left us to ourselves.

Carefully looking around to make sure we were alone, I quietly asked, “So, where’s Giovani? I thought he’d be home with you.”

Olivia smiled at me, a knowing look on her face like she knew exactly what I was doing. But she didn’t point that out, simply redoing Emilia’s pigtails into tiny braids on either side of her shoulder.

“I kicked him out today, actually,” Olivia said with a laugh. “I figured you wanted to talk to me alone. You sounded so worried on the phone, so I figured this was a girl-to-girl conversation. Was I wrong? I’m sure he’d love to pop in from whatever he’s doing.”

“No, you’re right.” I sighed, finally stopping all the pretenses as I got down to what I really came here for. “I’m just... having some thoughts I guess and I was just curious....”

I paused, not wanting to say the words aloud. But Olivia only had a serene expression, gently holding Emilia in her arms as she taught her to drop the feed above the pond, the colorful koi coming to poke their heads up. I smiled softly at the delightful shriek of laughter that tore through my baby at the sight, reaching out her chubby hands for the little fish like she could catch them bare-handedly from here.

This was my only chance to get the answers I needed.

“What was it like? You know, leaving the Valentinos and the whole mafia scene?” I asked cautiously, keeping a blank face as Olivia stiffened, sharply glancing over at me with a look I couldn’t decipher.

She pursed her lips, not saying a word. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I tried not to show how affected I was by her scrutinizing look. The silence was loud and lasted several excruciating minutes.

I was just beginning to regret saying anything at all when Olivia spoke, not looking me in the eyes but glancing at my daughter, who as still fascinated by the fish swimming in the pond.

“Does Elio know you want to leave?”

I stiffened, trying not to let it show on my face, but by the sadness in Olivia’s eyes.

She already knew.

“I don’t actually want to leave,” I lied, holding the cold glass of lemonade in my hand to get myself grounded. “I’m just doubting myself a bit.”

Olivia hummed disbelievingly, but she didn’t push it. “Having Elio taken away from me was what really had me determined to leave. I’d been thinking about it before then and I’d even brought it open to Gio a few times before, thinking about living somewhere, a life where we weren’t in danger all the time. But Gio wanted to stay, so I dropped it. When Elio was taken....”

She tightened her grip around Emilia ever so slightly, a look of grief overcoming her face. I realized then how deeply she’d been affected by the incident. Even though she had gotten Elio back unharmed, even though he had now grown up into his own man, for a time she had essentially lost her child.

The grief of that time would never go away.

“I’m sorry.” Olivia wiped her watery eyes, giving me a serious look. “After Elio... I told Gio that we needed to leave. I just couldn’t let that happen again. All of it was just too much for me after that. Gio easily agreed after that and we got our affairs in order, and we left.”

I understood where she was coming from. I glanced at Emilia, my heart tightening at the thought of having her taken from me even for a single moment and the nightmares I’d started having, of Junior’s promise to take everything I loved away from me. I knew it would destroy me to lose her.

I glanced up at Olivia with one last question on my mind. “Did you ever miss it?” I asked somberly, “regret leaving, I mean?”

Olivia looked me straight in the eyes, a burning confident look in hers, one that told me my answer even before the words got to my ears.

“No. Not even once.”

I shut my eyes, not sure what I wanted to hear but not feeling satisfied with what I had heard nonetheless. I was still lost, like trying to navigate a forest without a map.

“Cat.” Olivia’s hand grabbed mine gently and she gave me a smile. “When I left I had my family with me. Gio and Elio, they were all I had ever really wanted, so I was content with my life. You have to think about what really matters to you–what you want with your own life. Is what you would lose by leaving more important than what you could lose by staying?”

I swore Olivia to secrecy, thinking deeply about her question as we got up to leave after an hour or two more. Olivia showed us the gardens on our way out, even letting Emilia put her hand in the water so the koi fish could feed straight from her palm.

Once we got home though, she was tuckered out, ready for a deep long nap. Though I knew it was better to put her into her crib, Olivia’s look of grief and her story of losing her child had me settling on the couch, cuddling Emilia into my chest protectively.

I had gone there to reassure myself, but I only ended up more terrified.

I kept thinking deeply about Olivia’s words, of what I wanted and what I could lose.

I hummed softly to my sleeping baby, letting her dream away peacefully in my arms as I realized that if staying meant losing her, then it wasn’t worth it in the slightest.

After Emilia’s nap, I told the cook to take the rest of the day off and started to work on dinner for Elio, determined to do something with my hands as Emilia played in the living room. I was close enough to watch her from the hall, only a few short steps away.

I was almost done when Elio walked into the door.

“Cat?” he called out, stepping into the living room first.

“Here!” I shouted, using the spatula to turn the food in the skillet.

Elio walked in, an urgent look on his face, and I faced with a worried look as he blurted his words loud for me to hear.

“I have news about Junior.”